A Very Dark Night

silhouette of woman standing on rock near body of water during night time

Imagine waking up in the middle of the night, feeling your thoughts racing through your mind. The emotions of fear and anguish are continuously moving through your body. You can hear the heavy pounding beat of your heart while simultaneously, you feel a dull knife digging you in the upper part of your abdomen. As much as you try to keep still and fall back to sleep, your body keeps shaking relentlessly. The feeling of hopelessness and despair would not cease.

Is there shadow work that needs to be done? Will this free me from my self-destruction? The root of this disposition needs to be discovered. Why is such sadness and negativity gnawing at your mind? You say, “Oh, Lord, just take me home now so I can be free.” But, you can’t dear tell anyone how much you are suffering inside. They would not understand, and besides, they will see your flaws and weaknesses. All the brilliant and courageous deeds you did in the past will no longer matter because your shortcomings appear to overtake your accomplishments and good deeds.

What is causing you to feel this way? What traumatic event occurred that made you feel so depleted like this? Could it be your broken heart and home? Your feelings of loneliness and abandonment? The endless times you felt like a complete failure? I know the torture and weight that guilt, shame, and anxiety can have on your body. I have heard the voice that would not silence and allow you to feel hopeful and assured. Every time you appear to be advancing, that formidable force holds you back and reminds you of your tumultuous past and fears of the future. The voice continues to tell you that you are not good enough to climb the mountains and makes you doubt the strength and power that reside within you.

Lies upon lies. That is what this ominous spirit tells you. His goal is to keep you from the light. He wants you to remain entangled in the webs of the dark shadows of the night. If you get too close to the radiance surrounding you, your eyes will start to open, and the truth will begin to appear. You will remember who you are. Please do not give in to the wrath of his gloom. Face the pain and sorrow- stare at all the deception and illusions. Yes, recognize the fallacy and ignite yourself with the quenching fire as you see the visions slowly moving before your eyes. You see the light illuminating before your eyes. You smile and feel the sensation of lightness and freedom. You embrace yourself and recognize that you and divinity are one. You realize the dark night of the soul was necessary for you to see and appreciate the light around you. You have been healed.

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